tisdag 27 december 2011
You're my holy wine
Hello you, and you and you and you. This is me, or this was me, today. December 26th and +10 degrees Celsius in Stockholm. Global warming, you've made your voice heard. No complaints from me though, I hate winter and cold. It feels good to have Christmas over, and new years to come. I'm anticipating 2012 with a smile on my face.
torsdag 22 december 2011
onsdag 21 december 2011
tisdag 20 december 2011
söndag 18 december 2011
Sol
Och som vanligt finns du inte här när jag behöver dig. Önskan om din beröring har jag sedan länge kastat i en visuell brunn i form av ett mynt utan värde, men inte ens din röst kan jag njuta av nu. Mina tunga ögonlock talar för tröttheten i min själ. Jag undrar var jag är och hur jag hamnade här. Jag kämpar förgäves, jag har stora mål, men lyckas enbart med förkastliga saker som att tända en cigarett utan låga. Jag önskar att jag istället kunde tända något inom mig själv, något som kunde spridas som tjäran och nikotinet i mitt blodflöde. Jag önskar att jag kunde älska dig, vilt och smärtsamt och utan hämningar. Jag önskar att jag kunde älska. Kanske får min längtan ta form i ett nytt mynt, i en ny brunn, någon annanstans. Allt du döljer förföljer mig, ovisshet och osäkerhet fängslar mig. Jag har gamla sår som aldrig läker. Jag vill vara där du är och inte här. Jag vill sväva i en annan dimension innanför ditt hjärtas atmosfär. Du kommer aldrig att vara redo på samma sätt som jag är.
These words were written September 5th, 2010
These words were written September 5th, 2010
fredag 16 december 2011
torsdag 15 december 2011
Letter to my lost lover
Last night I dreamed of your face. I lay with my head in your knee, and you looked down upon me with your beautiful green eyes. Your curls fell over your face, that perfect face, and tickled my neck. We kissed, we laughed, we sang songs. We were happy.
Time passed in our utopian world, with flowers everywhere and nothing but love and rays of sun to warm our naked bodies. I cried because it was too amazing to be true. You looked at me with that serious expression on your face, gently streeking my tears away. I lay my head on your chest and fell asleep to the sound of your heart beating.
A slight shiver crawled down my spine and something had changed in an instant. All of a sudden there was a storm and it was doing us part. I screamed and screamed for you, you were lost. With no expression on your face, that perfect face, you turned around and walked away.
I awoke from my dream with a strange feeling dancing inside of me.
I thought of you. And I understood.
Time passed in our utopian world, with flowers everywhere and nothing but love and rays of sun to warm our naked bodies. I cried because it was too amazing to be true. You looked at me with that serious expression on your face, gently streeking my tears away. I lay my head on your chest and fell asleep to the sound of your heart beating.
A slight shiver crawled down my spine and something had changed in an instant. All of a sudden there was a storm and it was doing us part. I screamed and screamed for you, you were lost. With no expression on your face, that perfect face, you turned around and walked away.
I awoke from my dream with a strange feeling dancing inside of me.
I thought of you. And I understood.
onsdag 14 december 2011
måndag 12 december 2011
Her morning elegance
Once again life has taken me by surprise with it's suddenness. I'm sitting by the kitchen table, drinking my tea, listening to music. It's just another ordinary day, filled with ordinary obligations. And tomorrow?
I don't know. I never know. Nobody knows.
I don't know. I never know. Nobody knows.
söndag 11 december 2011
onsdag 7 december 2011
"And I ran when I should have walked"
"Having a relationship is not about becoming one, after all."
Fabio Pablo Palito
Fabio Pablo Palito
måndag 5 december 2011
Where were you born?
I often think of what my life would be, hadn't I lived in Sweden. I was born in Iran, a country that differs from that of which I consider being home in every way. And how would it be, hadn't I lived in Sweden nor had educated parents? Where would I be?
During the past few years I have been very conflicted concerning my future. Millions of ideas have passed through my mind, only to be dismissed and replaced with others. During a long period of time, what I wanted above all was to break free from this "box" that most of us are born into in the West, and just travel around working to survive the day. I didn't want an education, or a career. "To do what I feel like doing, to live for myself." That was my plan. Little did I know then, that my strategy would have led me to the complete opposite.
As I tend to reflect upon and analyze any experience I come across, I learn much from little. After graduation I took a year off to work and travel, a year during which I've grown more than ever. I have now a new plan for life, one that might come to change in detail, but not in greater meaning.
The majority of our brothers and sisters around the planet are not born with, or later given the same opportunities as myself and a minority of people. There are not many of us who have been given the privilege to create our own futures, shape them to fit with our interests and goals. I could not sleep at night, knowing that I haven't taken advantage of my advantages. It's not always easy and never will be. Sometimes you, I, everyone feels like giving up. It is not always easy to find purpose for everything we struggle with. Yet we should keep struggling, for there are those who have greater struggles. And if we would all combine compassion with education and ambition, we could change conditions for those who need the simple things we've neve even asked for ourselves, but always been given.
During the past few years I have been very conflicted concerning my future. Millions of ideas have passed through my mind, only to be dismissed and replaced with others. During a long period of time, what I wanted above all was to break free from this "box" that most of us are born into in the West, and just travel around working to survive the day. I didn't want an education, or a career. "To do what I feel like doing, to live for myself." That was my plan. Little did I know then, that my strategy would have led me to the complete opposite.
As I tend to reflect upon and analyze any experience I come across, I learn much from little. After graduation I took a year off to work and travel, a year during which I've grown more than ever. I have now a new plan for life, one that might come to change in detail, but not in greater meaning.
The majority of our brothers and sisters around the planet are not born with, or later given the same opportunities as myself and a minority of people. There are not many of us who have been given the privilege to create our own futures, shape them to fit with our interests and goals. I could not sleep at night, knowing that I haven't taken advantage of my advantages. It's not always easy and never will be. Sometimes you, I, everyone feels like giving up. It is not always easy to find purpose for everything we struggle with. Yet we should keep struggling, for there are those who have greater struggles. And if we would all combine compassion with education and ambition, we could change conditions for those who need the simple things we've neve even asked for ourselves, but always been given.
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