Aussi beau

I have finally seen "Paris, je t'aime" which is a series of short films, all shot in Paris and cut into one normal length film. Each one was entertaining but some (below) were slightly more beautiful and very much more touching.




Fauborg Saint-Denis by Tom Tykwer




14eme arrondissement by Alexander Payne




Place Des Fetes by Oliver Schmitz.

Je t'aime

PICS) All the above taken during my stay in Paris

Var ni kära?

För inte så länge sedan frågade jag min mormor för första gången om hur det gick till när hon gifte sig med min morfar. Jag satt vid matbordet i köket medan hon plockade undan lite småsaker som låg omkring. Hon kan aldrig sitta still, min mormor.

Hon berättade att morfar, som är några år äldre än henne själv, länge hade varit kär i henne innan de fick lov att gifta sig. Han hade frågat om hennes hand gång på gång, men hennes mamma ville inte ge bort sin dotter till honom, eftersom hon ansåg att han var för ful. Jag satt där i köket med ett leende på läpparna medan mormor beskrev hur hennes pappa till slut hade sagt till morfar: ”Ta henne, bara ta henne!”. Så hade de alltså kommit för att ta min då lilla mormor på 16 år till giftas.

Mormor berättade att ingen såklart hade talat med henne dessförinnan om vad som sker när en gifter sig. Hon berättar om hur en bekant stormade in i hennes rum på bröllopsdagen, medan hon satt och blev sminkad av några äldre kvinnor i släkten, och utbrast ”Men hennes kinder är ju redan så rosiga, sminka dem inte mer! Han kommer ju för sjutton bita av dem!”. Vad kvinnan då inte hade förstått var att detta yttrande skulle leda till att min mormor gick runt med händerna på kinderna i veckor därefter.

Medan jag smuttade på min kopp med kurdiskt te fortsatte mormor sin historia och beskrev även med en fin liten demonstration hur hon i hela sju dagar efter bröllopet hade vägrat att låta morfar komma i närheten av henne. Hon hade varit så rädd för honom och det där hemska som skulle ske när en gifte sig. Men som med mycket annat i livet där och då, fick en lära sig den hårda vägen. 'Learning by doing', jag undrar om inte någon där någonstans i Mellanöstern skulle ha gjort anspråk på det begreppet.

Jag log mot min älskade mormor, road av hur våra liv och uppfattningar skiljer sig och en tung känsla av sorg lade sig tillrätta, djupt inne i bröstet, för alla delar av mig som jag redan har begravt inför henne.

Krona

I started writing some bullshit
about how I feel like I'm standing in the middle of nowhere
where everything is covered in snow
and there is nothing to be seen or heard
and how every time I take a step forward the wind blows away my footprints
and I lose myself again.
(I can't recall where I came from
and I don't know where I'm going.)

But then I remembered that I ordered an iPhone
and what little hope I had left for myself and how special I am is just drained
dripping out of me in the shape of little beams of sweat
and I think to myself that my body is ringing the alarm
telling me to run, run, run, run
RUN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
But little does my body know
it is already too late
and there is no going back
because I'll have that thing dropped in the mail in four weeks
so I can join in on modern happiness
and share with the world my everyday meals.

But what does the world share when they don't eat?
When the appetite is gone as well as their sleep
and the smile on their lips and hope in their eyes
and love in their heart and warmth in their soul.
When all that's left is cold
and even five sweaters knitted by grandma don't protect you enough from freezing within.

I'm dying to know
and I'm dying to eat
and I'm dying to sleep
and I'm dying to smile
and I'm dying to love.
But it's just cold
and I'm just dying.

Wake up call

I thought I'd draw attention to this video by Keri Hilson. If you take time to watch it you will hopefully see exactly what I saw, a beautiful woman who has made the choice to follow the path of sexualisation of the female gender, enabled and conveyed by patriarchy. And with these words you will hopefully change your opinion, assuming your opinion is the same as mine was the first time I saw it. My spontaneous reaction to this video was an extreme feeling of resent toward the women in the video, specifically Keri Hilson, thinking that THEY are sending out a horrible message to young girls who watch this with admiration in their eyes.  I watched it again, I gave it another thought and I realized that blaming the women was the worst thing I could do.

Women are NOT to be blamed for the medias ways of sexualizing them. And being against this way of portraying the female does not mean thinking that women are not allowed to be sexy. A woman is entitled to be exactly how she wants to be, without being judged. If watching this video makes you feel something, anything - indicating that its images are wrong and harmful to the idea of the female, please ask yourself where this tendency started and why it is accepted. We live in a society where the woman is expected to be beautiful, sexy, inviting yet not "loose", and so on. Women are not objects, and neither are we pets whose attributes are to be decided by the general, discriminative ideas of the patriarchal society. It's time to fight against primitive gender roles and discrimination. Dare to be aware.

Hippiefy me

PICS) L.A. 2012

Sharp edges and longing

Taking self-portraits is comfortable, to say the least. Worth mentioning; I left Paris September 1st. Back on Swedish ground, building my own ground to stand on when it's time to wander off again.