tisdag 15 mars 2011

"A book like this"

I chopped an avocado into small pieces, poured the juice of a whole lemon on it and now I'm eating it. It needs some salt, though. Anyway, my little salad made me think of a quotation. There is a quotation that says "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them." isn't there? I'm not sure, but I think so. And if so, I have an opinion to share. THAT MUST BE THE MOST RIDICULOUS QUOTATION I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY NOT SO LONG LIFE. How stupid? Seriously, is that supposed to make ANYONE feel better about ANYTHING? When life gives you lemons, squeeze them? I mean come on. If someone would try to cheer me up by saying that, I'd go Texas chainsaw massacre on their ass.

Yeah that's about all I had to say. I'm travelling again tomorrow and I'll be gone for 15 days. In April, I promise to share a lot of photos. Right now I feel really inspired, I want to exploit that fact to the fullest. And when I'm done exploiting, I'll share. But I have a feeling the inspiration isn't going anywhere. It first came along with my travelling to India, and now my travelling to the Middle-East, but once I come back home... It will be staying with spring and summer.

fredag 11 mars 2011

Well it's all always the same

I wrote this about a year and a half ago.

"What does it help? What does it help to feel? What does it help to write? What does it help to paint? What does it help to try to express yourself? When you keep things to yourself, you crash within. When you let it out, everything crashes around you."

Love me when I hate you, maybe I won't leave you

PICS) Goa and Hampi, India 2011

söndag 6 februari 2011

Today is sunday

Hereby I present you some words in Swedish. They are my words and I can choose to express them in whichever language I please. Yes, even the languages I can't actually speak.

"Jag älskar dig" sa jag. "Jag älskar dig" sa jag högre. "JAG ÄLSKAR DIG! JAG ÄLSKAR DIG!! JAG ÄLSKAR DIG!!!" skrek jag så högt och så länge, så hårt att mina lungor imploderade och jag fann icke styrka att tala mer. Den lade sig då tillrätta i djupet av dina ljusa ögon, där enbart jag hör hemma. Där lade den sig ned och hånlog mot mig. Din rädsla. Med omedelbar verkan trädde kylan in. Muren som jag trodde hade rivits återuppbyggdes med förnyad kraft. Jag huttrade till. Du vände dig bort. Sedan skedde det ofattbara. Det vackra. Solen steg åter och jag såg i dina ögon ett slag. Där låg rädslan, nedbruten och drunknande. Där låg den och skrek efter hjälp, där låg den och skrek mörka, manipulativa ord om hur den aldrig skulle svika dig. Där låg den och led, ty kärleken fanns numer. Där var den, den värmande och belysta kärleken som jag sökt och åter sökt, där för att stanna. Jag kämpade och jag vann. Du skall icke sluta dig, du skall icke lämna mig mer. Förseglade voro mina ord med en kyss.

Words of my own

For as long as I can remember
I always had my eyes on the prize
Well I was aiming for truth but came across a surprise
See there are such things as lies
And these things, see they tend to ruin lives
They generate hate and motivate goodbye's

Well I was yours and now I am... Lost.

And you should have fought.

onsdag 2 februari 2011

"Run deep, run wild"

Lykke Li - I follow rivers

Can't wait until May 2nd.

TRUE DAT

Recent uploads on gotwisdom that really do make sense.

823. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE, JUST TELL THEM. 99% OF THE TIME THEY AREN’T GOING TO STAB YOU AND WILL JUST UNDERSTAND. THE OTHER 1% OF THE TIME, WELL, THAT IS JUST YOUR OWN FAULT FOR BEING AROUND DERANGED PEOPLE WITH KNIVES TO BEGIN WITH.

822. JEALOUSY KILLS. NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE OR ANYTHING… BUT RELATIONSHIPS.

820. IF YOU KEEP LISTENING TO YOUR HEART, WHAT IS THE POINT IN YOUR BRAIN EVEN BEING THERE?

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO THINK LOGICALLY.

815. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, THEY’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN.

DON’T OBSESS OVER TRYING TO FORCE A RELATIONSHIP, IF IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE; IF IT IS, HOWEVER, YOU WONT EVEN NEED TO FORCE ANYTHING AT ALL.

I'm just a rude, arrogant little girl. And you're a nobody.

PICS) Summer in the city, Stockholm, 2010

I am so sick of this neverending winter. The negative effect it has on me could cause a major tornado, or something like it. I need to run away for a while, to be inspired, to feel alive again.

"Alla som älskar mig får lära sig att vänta"

My imagination. We're kissing, laughing, having a pretend pillowfight. Making sandwiches and tea. Watching a crappy movie just to have an excuse to focus on eachother and not the screen. Time to spoon. Strange, I can't feel the cold wind anymore.

Reality. We're miles apart. Bitter, insecure, sometimes also apathic. I hear your voice, you hear mine but I'm not really here. You're not there. You're not listening. YOU DON'T KNOW. But it's my fault. I guess I just demand more... More than possible to give. Now it's all about who'll be fast enough to hang up first. Practise makes perfect. If I'm a slut, you're a moron. That's all for today.

lördag 22 januari 2011

A little story

You're one of those people. One of those people who don't want to admit that they actually, really, truly believe in unconditional love. Everlasting, satisfying, fulfilling love. You went through your early teens pretending like you never gave a shit about anyone, when the truth is you were just wishing you had someone to care for. You've always been the stonecold one, the one that yawns whenever the subject of such an illusion as "love" is brought up. The one whose face reflects nothing but boredom, the one who changes the subject saying "come on, let's talk about next weekend" or "hey everybody, who wants another beer?".

You're the one who is always single. Always up for a night out, always disappointed when your friends turn you down saying they've made plans for a stay-at-home-movienight with their girlfriend or boyfriend. You have the same reaction to it every single time, laughing out loud saying "damn, when did you become such a lameass? Whatever, I'll just have to enjoy myself then". You go home, feeling emptier than ever, wondering if you should call that pickup from last Tuesday's "afterwork".

And then, all of a sudden, just like in the movies(!), you meet someone. Under the most random circumstances, when and where you least expect it, you meet someone who makes you wonder. Someone who teases your heart and not your genitals. You meet someone who turns you into what you've always pretended to despise and but truthfylly, always envied. A person who fills you with hope and belief. All of a sudden, you feel like there is new purpose in life. You have a new reason to get out of bed, and get dressed. You start doing your hair and wearing make-up. You notice how you smile a lot more often, without actually being aware of it. All of a sudden, you are sure you found the one. That one person who is supposed to make all evil go away. The person who is supposed to break down your walls, the one who is supposed to understand you when nobody else ever has. You believe, that this person will do so. You give your heart and soul. You nourish your relationship to this person with everything you own. Your feelings, your common sense of logic, your time, even your money. You will do anything. You do anything.
You give up everything.

But of course. Nothing in life comes for free. This person turns out to be someone else. He or she turns out to be the opposit of who you thought you loved. All the happiness you felt, turns into pain and disappointment more immense and excrutiating than you would have thought was ever possible. And since you gave everything, anything, you're left with nothing. And then, you regret ever believing. But time can not be turned back.

fredag 21 januari 2011

"Show me what I'm looking for"

For two nights in a row, I've had the strangest dreams. It feels like somebody is trying to tell me something. But I've dreamt these kinds of strange things before, and ignored them. It's such a shame. I'm one of those people, you know. One of those people who are naive enough to use dreams as an excuse to do something they simply just feel like doing.