Hereby I present you some words in Swedish. They are my words and I can choose to express them in whichever language I please. Yes, even the languages I can't actually speak.
"Jag älskar dig" sa jag. "Jag älskar dig" sa jag högre. "JAG ÄLSKAR DIG! JAG ÄLSKAR DIG!! JAG ÄLSKAR DIG!!!" skrek jag så högt och så länge, så hårt att mina lungor imploderade och jag fann icke styrka att tala mer. Den lade sig då tillrätta i djupet av dina ljusa ögon, där enbart jag hör hemma. Där lade den sig ned och hånlog mot mig. Din rädsla. Med omedelbar verkan trädde kylan in. Muren som jag trodde hade rivits återuppbyggdes med förnyad kraft. Jag huttrade till. Du vände dig bort. Sedan skedde det ofattbara. Det vackra. Solen steg åter och jag såg i dina ögon ett slag. Där låg rädslan, nedbruten och drunknande. Där låg den och skrek efter hjälp, där låg den och skrek mörka, manipulativa ord om hur den aldrig skulle svika dig. Där låg den och led, ty kärleken fanns numer. Där var den, den värmande och belysta kärleken som jag sökt och åter sökt, där för att stanna. Jag kämpade och jag vann. Du skall icke sluta dig, du skall icke lämna mig mer. Förseglade voro mina ord med en kyss.
söndag 6 februari 2011
Words of my own
For as long as I can remember
I always had my eyes on the prize
Well I was aiming for truth but came across a surprise
See there are such things as lies
And these things, see they tend to ruin lives
They generate hate and motivate goodbye's
Well I was yours and now I am... Lost.
And you should have fought.
I always had my eyes on the prize
Well I was aiming for truth but came across a surprise
See there are such things as lies
And these things, see they tend to ruin lives
They generate hate and motivate goodbye's
Well I was yours and now I am... Lost.
And you should have fought.
onsdag 2 februari 2011
TRUE DAT
Recent uploads on gotwisdom that really do make sense.
823. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE, JUST TELL THEM. 99% OF THE TIME THEY AREN’T GOING TO STAB YOU AND WILL JUST UNDERSTAND. THE OTHER 1% OF THE TIME, WELL, THAT IS JUST YOUR OWN FAULT FOR BEING AROUND DERANGED PEOPLE WITH KNIVES TO BEGIN WITH.
822. JEALOUSY KILLS. NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE OR ANYTHING… BUT RELATIONSHIPS.
820. IF YOU KEEP LISTENING TO YOUR HEART, WHAT IS THE POINT IN YOUR BRAIN EVEN BEING THERE?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO THINK LOGICALLY.815. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, THEY’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN.
DON’T OBSESS OVER TRYING TO FORCE A RELATIONSHIP, IF IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE; IF IT IS, HOWEVER, YOU WONT EVEN NEED TO FORCE ANYTHING AT ALL.I'm just a rude, arrogant little girl. And you're a nobody.
PICS) Summer in the city, Stockholm, 2010
I am so sick of this neverending winter. The negative effect it has on me could cause a major tornado, or something like it. I need to run away for a while, to be inspired, to feel alive again.
"Alla som älskar mig får lära sig att vänta"
My imagination. We're kissing, laughing, having a pretend pillowfight. Making sandwiches and tea. Watching a crappy movie just to have an excuse to focus on eachother and not the screen. Time to spoon. Strange, I can't feel the cold wind anymore.
Reality. We're miles apart. Bitter, insecure, sometimes also apathic. I hear your voice, you hear mine but I'm not really here. You're not there. You're not listening. YOU DON'T KNOW. But it's my fault. I guess I just demand more... More than possible to give. Now it's all about who'll be fast enough to hang up first. Practise makes perfect. If I'm a slut, you're a moron. That's all for today.
Reality. We're miles apart. Bitter, insecure, sometimes also apathic. I hear your voice, you hear mine but I'm not really here. You're not there. You're not listening. YOU DON'T KNOW. But it's my fault. I guess I just demand more... More than possible to give. Now it's all about who'll be fast enough to hang up first. Practise makes perfect. If I'm a slut, you're a moron. That's all for today.
lördag 22 januari 2011
A little story
You're one of those people. One of those people who don't want to admit that they actually, really, truly believe in unconditional love. Everlasting, satisfying, fulfilling love. You went through your early teens pretending like you never gave a shit about anyone, when the truth is you were just wishing you had someone to care for. You've always been the stonecold one, the one that yawns whenever the subject of such an illusion as "love" is brought up. The one whose face reflects nothing but boredom, the one who changes the subject saying "come on, let's talk about next weekend" or "hey everybody, who wants another beer?".
You're the one who is always single. Always up for a night out, always disappointed when your friends turn you down saying they've made plans for a stay-at-home-movienight with their girlfriend or boyfriend. You have the same reaction to it every single time, laughing out loud saying "damn, when did you become such a lameass? Whatever, I'll just have to enjoy myself then". You go home, feeling emptier than ever, wondering if you should call that pickup from last Tuesday's "afterwork".
And then, all of a sudden, just like in the movies(!), you meet someone. Under the most random circumstances, when and where you least expect it, you meet someone who makes you wonder. Someone who teases your heart and not your genitals. You meet someone who turns you into what you've always pretended to despise and but truthfylly, always envied. A person who fills you with hope and belief. All of a sudden, you feel like there is new purpose in life. You have a new reason to get out of bed, and get dressed. You start doing your hair and wearing make-up. You notice how you smile a lot more often, without actually being aware of it. All of a sudden, you are sure you found the one. That one person who is supposed to make all evil go away. The person who is supposed to break down your walls, the one who is supposed to understand you when nobody else ever has. You believe, that this person will do so. You give your heart and soul. You nourish your relationship to this person with everything you own. Your feelings, your common sense of logic, your time, even your money. You will do anything. You do anything.
You give up everything.
But of course. Nothing in life comes for free. This person turns out to be someone else. He or she turns out to be the opposit of who you thought you loved. All the happiness you felt, turns into pain and disappointment more immense and excrutiating than you would have thought was ever possible. And since you gave everything, anything, you're left with nothing. And then, you regret ever believing. But time can not be turned back.
You're the one who is always single. Always up for a night out, always disappointed when your friends turn you down saying they've made plans for a stay-at-home-movienight with their girlfriend or boyfriend. You have the same reaction to it every single time, laughing out loud saying "damn, when did you become such a lameass? Whatever, I'll just have to enjoy myself then". You go home, feeling emptier than ever, wondering if you should call that pickup from last Tuesday's "afterwork".
And then, all of a sudden, just like in the movies(!), you meet someone. Under the most random circumstances, when and where you least expect it, you meet someone who makes you wonder. Someone who teases your heart and not your genitals. You meet someone who turns you into what you've always pretended to despise and but truthfylly, always envied. A person who fills you with hope and belief. All of a sudden, you feel like there is new purpose in life. You have a new reason to get out of bed, and get dressed. You start doing your hair and wearing make-up. You notice how you smile a lot more often, without actually being aware of it. All of a sudden, you are sure you found the one. That one person who is supposed to make all evil go away. The person who is supposed to break down your walls, the one who is supposed to understand you when nobody else ever has. You believe, that this person will do so. You give your heart and soul. You nourish your relationship to this person with everything you own. Your feelings, your common sense of logic, your time, even your money. You will do anything. You do anything.
You give up everything.
But of course. Nothing in life comes for free. This person turns out to be someone else. He or she turns out to be the opposit of who you thought you loved. All the happiness you felt, turns into pain and disappointment more immense and excrutiating than you would have thought was ever possible. And since you gave everything, anything, you're left with nothing. And then, you regret ever believing. But time can not be turned back.
fredag 21 januari 2011
"Show me what I'm looking for"
For two nights in a row, I've had the strangest dreams. It feels like somebody is trying to tell me something. But I've dreamt these kinds of strange things before, and ignored them. It's such a shame. I'm one of those people, you know. One of those people who are naive enough to use dreams as an excuse to do something they simply just feel like doing.
onsdag 19 januari 2011
tisdag 18 januari 2011
"I forget that I am just like everybody else"
This video and song is one of my favourites, by one of my favourite bands Miike Snow. The video is so... Unique.
måndag 17 januari 2011
Why do words hurt so much?
It shouldn't hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself
To be free - Emiliana Torrini
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself
To be free - Emiliana Torrini
"I want the world to stop"
There is a voice within me that softly whispers sweet tales of another life. I need something new... Something to lift me out of bed, out of blue. I need something to save me, fulfill me, inspire me. I'm sorry it can't be you. I need to search my soul for truth.
fredag 14 januari 2011
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