Here we are now

I'm dazed, amazed. Life is just so fucking unpredictable.

"Saw your picture on a silver coin"

I don't know what to write. I try, but I can't right now. Nothing is in it's right place. Nothing is as it should be. I can not feel the words. I can not feel.

How does it feel?

I think out loud to myself. "What is life about?" I whisper it softly, my voice is poisoned by my insecurity. "Love." It eats me, this repulsive fact, I don't want it to be true.  I don't want my life to revolve around something that does nothing but hurt. Oh how it hurts! It tears me apart, it beats me up, it knocks me down.

Once again, it pains me. I love you.